Thursday, 24 November 2016

On Delaying Instant Gratification.

The first time I heard of any kind of gratification was through my mom. At the time, she was reading finance books and the idea was to embrace Delyaed Gratification instead of the instant kind; take a step back, breathe, think it over and ponder whether the item is a WANT or a NEED. Decide only when you've weighed the pros and the cons. It's a concept I've known for over ten years but it's only recently that I've become reacquainted with this lesson.

As a child, I was the Queen of starting new projects but a joker in terms of finishing. I rarely ever did; I was usually moving on to the next shiny new project.
The same ething happened throughout my adulthood; I'll start a new writing project or a new TV series, and whenever the storyline gets too hard, I move on, promising myself I'll be back when the mood was right. Lies of course, although at the time, I meant it.

It will come as no shock when I say I'm an impulsive buying; when I want something I want it NOW and I'm a champ at convincing myself that I should not leave the store without it . . . Yes, I have many financial regrets and yes, I (used to) own a lot of useless junk.

See a pattern here yet?

And my love life. *sigh* I recently (ish) read He's just not that into you and realised that in every relationship, every man I've ever been with, I pursued. I saw him, wanted him and went after him. Recently,, I realised I subconsciously thought I wasn't worth pursuing, so I did the chasing.

And where had that left me? In a good place, actually. I learned to question myself and my motivese, learnt to challenge myself. I sought help, took the advice that worked, delved deeper than ever inside my emotions. Everyone has told me how much I've changed, although I'm the first to notice.

The one thing I have left to work on is a doozy; delaying instant gratification. A.K.A: my impulsivity. I thought it was an issue that would get better as I grew older and wiser. What a laugh; it's definitely worse now.

And so a few weekends back, I decided I'd had enough of being dominated. I no longer want the rush that comes with Instant Gratification only to be left hollow afterwards.

I reached out to a friend of mine who helped me stay on track, helped me stay focused. She reminded me that in the long run, I wanted the "bigger picture" which would only be acquired through time and patience . . . Delayed Gratification.

And so, until next time, stay focused, keep breathing and #alwayskeepfighting

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